Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Dearth of Quality Movies: South Carolina Style

For the last six months or so, I have been living a crazy existence down in the city of Columbia, South Carolina. And along with this living situation, I have had a fair share of ups and downs. Mostly downs. Because for those of you who know me know that I have one major passion in life. And that is the Cinema. I capitalized it because it sounds more culturally refined and proper to do so. Plus, it sounds better than "Movies." (P.S. I'm better than you because I call it the Cinema.)

Unfortunately, the choices in Cinema are sorely lacking in comparison to other places where I have lived. And that is rather frustrating.

I bring this up now for one major reason: I want to see Juno. And I have been given no opportunity to see this movie. Normally, I can withstand such withholdings. Because I'm no film snob. I like my mindless action movies as much as I love the subtle dramas. So it follows that I have something to watch on the weekends, even if it is only Alvin and the Chipmunks. But it becomes a serious issue when people who are much less passionate about this pastime than I am are essentially brought to a theater to see Juno. And I'll be honest. I'm rather envious of them and I'd prefer they didn't see it at all.

On Christmas Day, Juno expanded into almost 1000 theaters. And, not one of them was within 70 miles of my current location. The problem is, I do not know what to do to get these movies here. I, and I alone will not be able to bring these movies to this city (or even this state for that matter, but that's a completely different conversation.)

There is one theater, called the Nickelodeon, located downtown, which apparently has one screen and on the weekends will show an artsy movie. And it changes every week. And Juno isn't on its schedule. The Nickelodeon is a recent discovery for me. I have yet to go there, but hearing about it months ago I immediately dismissed it as a place to play Double Dare or Legends of the Hidden Temple. (On second thought, I don't know why I didn't seek it out sooner. Nothing I'd love more to have a deep conversation with Olmec about Cleopatra or Davy Crockett.) But when I realized what it actually was, I became intrigued. Alas, the fact that there is only one theater and the selections are limited makes it a place where I probably will not end up frequenting too often.

The fact is, this place essentially sucks. Between the lack of movie choices and the lack of pizza choices, I sometimes wonder how these people even get by at all. Sure, Michigan often times wasn't anything to write home about, but I promise that you would not want to trade me. Especially if you were me.

I could probably complain more. Much more actually. But I will refrain. Because the only thing that's affecting me dearly is the lack of ability to go see Juno. And now that I'm thinking about it, the lack of an IMAX theater. There used to be one about an hour and a half away from my current location, on the beach in Charleston to be exact. But the week Transformers was to open up there, it shut down inexplicably. It's almost as if there's a higher power that is trying to wreck my movie-going enjoyment. (Crap. I called them the movies. Well, I'm still better than you anyway.) This has also forced me to forgo the 6-minute Dark Knight IMAX preview before I Am Legend. It's like everywhere I turn, there is more evil lurking its way into my life. An evil that I must turn around.

I welcome any suggestions that are deeper than "move away" or "get a new job". Simple in theory, but much more difficult in practice.

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